Love, Love, Love

1. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
2. “I love you, not because you are perfect, but because you are so perfect for me.“
3. Love is everything it’s cracked up to be… It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.
4. You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.
5. “When I saw you I fell in love. And you smiled because you knew.”
6. In a relationship, there’s always someone who loves more than the other.
7. Don’t find love. Let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love, because you don’t force yourself to fall — you just do.
8. “It’s not that I can’t live without you, It’s that I don’t even want to try.”
9. The heart wants what it wants…. There’s no logic to those things.
   
10. Lovers do not meet somewhere along the way. They’re in each other’s hearts from the beginning.

Love Is...

1. Love is, giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to.
   
2. Don’t settle for the one for the one you can live with… wait for the one you can’t live without.
3. Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever.
4. “If something happens and you lose me, please don’t think that’s the end, come and find me again.”
5. To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.
6. The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree, but still hold hands.
7. Once in your life, you will find someone who will turn your whole world around.
8. “The world is gonna throw us a million reasons why this isn’t gonna work out between us. But, I’m armed with the ONE reason why it will: I LOVE YOU.”
9. You know you truly love someone when you want them to be happy even if their happiness means that you’re not a part of it.
10. True love is not something that comes everyday, follow your heart, it knows the right answer.

I Heart You

• “For a few moments in my life you’ve made me feel as if I truly meant something to someone.”
• “I love you, without any doubts, no hesitations, no limit.”
• “I came alive when I started loving you.”
• “When I grow old, I want you to be the one there beside me.”
• “When we’re together or when we’re apart, you’re first in my thoughts and first in my heart.”
• “Loving you is the second best thing I have done, finding you was the first.”
• “Falling in love with you was the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
• “I don’t regret the things I have done or the things I have chosen not to do because what ever I’ve done, I must have done something right because I ended up with you.”
• “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
• “With you, I am home.”

Lost Love

1. Sometimes there would come a time when we have to stop loving someone. Why? Not because the person started hating us, but because we ran out of reasons to fight for what we feel.
2. “Teach me how to be strong before you go. Teach me how to believe if you ever lie. Teach me how to control my tears before I start to cry. And please, teach me how to make you stay before you say goodbye.”
3. It’s hard to live alone. It’s harder to choose someone to love. But the hardest part of loving is to admit that you’ve fallen for someone who can never be yours.
4. When you fall in love, don’t give everything without leaving something for yourself… someday, somehow, it would be too late for you to realize that you’ve given all for the wrong one, without saving something for the right one…
5. “I don’t run from you, I walk away slowly. And it kills me because you don’t care enough to stop me.”
6. Life is ironic! Sometimes you keep on crying even if the guy neglects you, but you get surprised one day that just when you stopped crying and found someone new, that’s when he starts crying over losing you…
7. Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.
8. The worst feeling isn’t being lonely. It’s being forgotten by someone you could never forget.
9. It hurts when the one you love left you and said, “You deserve someone better.” Then all you can say is… “Maybe I do.” But deep inside you’re crying coz you know you can’t find “BETTER” when you already found the “BEST.”
10. If you can’t save the relationship, at least save your pride.

SMS / Text Messages Collection: Assorted

I had a dream that i still loved u *~* I THINK I WOKE UP SCREAMING!!!!!!

There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.


YeH u'D bE PReTTy gOoDLOoKiN iF iT WaSnT FoR yOuR FaCe


im not a tease im just a reminder of what you cant have


-íMåGíNé Ur LíFé WíThØuT Mé- -¿Mí§éRåBLé HuH?-


If it were supposed to feel good they wouldn't call it a crush.


Don't go for looks, they deceive, don't go for money, wait, go for money then when its gone, move on to the next guy!

Honk if you love Me, then drive your car into the nearest tree!

friends dont let friends drink and take home ugly men/women

you say you're heaven sent... then that explains your face. mustve landed on it.

Rejected Hallmark Cards: Offensive

# I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.


# Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.


# I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.


# This feels good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.


# You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round ass!


# Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled...SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!


# Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown...but so's your ass!


# You're a honey....and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".


# I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!


# If you think that hickey looks like a blister
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

Funny Text Messages: Insults

Roses r red, violets r blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are u.
But da roses r wilting, da violets r dead, da sugar bowl's empty and so is ur head!

---

We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

---

U have to do 2 things early in the morning...
1st. pray to God so that u can live....
2nd.take a bath so that others can live....

---

Someday u may lose ur hair,
u may lose ur teeth,ur money & even lose ur mind.
But 1 thng ul nvr lose is ur gud luks
coz u cant lose wat u dont have.

---

If I was a painter,u wud b my painting
If I was an author,u wud b my story.
If I was a poet,u wud b my poem.
But unfortunately Im a psychiatrist.

---

Wen sumbody who's deeply in luv wid u
tells u tat ur cute,beautiful & angelic,
I agree. Tats true, believe me, I swear
Coz love is definitely blind..!

---

Who Wants 2 B A
£MILLIONAIRE£

Let's play?
Q.Nobody likes you because you are a:


A.Cunt
B.Wanker
C.Rsole
D.Twat



50/50



Phone a friend?


Ring me! I will tell you!

---

You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beautiful
You=amazing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fantastic
You=fabulous
Me=liar

---

Where r u? U r u not replying? I m worried coz todays paper I read that due 2 thunder a monkey has been severely injured. So if u r safe, SMS me immediately.

You Can't Buy Love On eBay: Love Quotes

Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. -- Anonymous

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -- Albert Einstein

If I love you, what business is it of yours? -- Johann van Goethe

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it.-- Fran Lebowitz

I've abandoned the search for true love; I'll just settle for a good one night stand. -- Marcuss

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. -- W. Somerset Maugham

Love is a grave mental disease. -- Plato

Love is kissing each other on the lips eventhough its yucky -- a five year old kid

You can't buy love on eBay. -- Anonymous

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one. -- La Rochefoucauld

More Smart A$$ Quotes: Insults

Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.

Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing!

Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.

Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.

You are the kind of person that could be used as a blueprint to build an idiot.

You are such a smart-ass I bet you could sit on a carton of ice cream and tell what flavor it is.

If you were a body of water, you'd be a kiddie pool.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream ''taxi''.

We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven."

Having Fun With Condoms Without Putting Them On First.

At a supermarket use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)

At a supermarket get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

Puck up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, got to the counter and ask where the FITTING ROOM is.

Wile buying grocery, fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

Q: What do a shark and a condom with a hole in it have in common? - A: You don’t want to fuck with either of them!

Q: When should you wear condoms? - A: At every conceivable occasion

Q: Why can’t pencils have babies? - A: Because they have rubbers on their end

Q: How can you pick out a paranoid woman? - A: She’s the one with a condom on her vibrator

Pick-Up Lines to use on Accounting Chicks

You've got a lovely pair of W-2's.

Please, baby, let me withhold you.

Nice assets.

Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.

In my office, I.R.S. stands for I'm Really Sexy.

Let's fill out a 1040 - you are a 10 and I'm a 40.

If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?

Technically, having sex with me is like a charitable gift.

You're entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income... now let's do it.

You're the kind of girl I could take home to mother - which is good, since I still live with her.

Text Messages From The Cubicle Prison

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

Fix the Box Instead of Thinking Outside Of It.

Their theory: 'No work, no pay'. My rule: 'No pay, no work'

Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday...

Write a 'to do' list so you can procrastinate more effectively.

If you don't like your job, you don't quit, you just go in every day and do it really half ass.

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.

Teamwork is what you call it when you trick other people into ignoring their priorities in favor of yours.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must; I do what I am paid to do.

Smart A$$ Quotes

Statistics are used by people who have no proof


If you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to commit you.


Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop


Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity.


Don't lead me to temptation... I can find it by myself


A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.


The road to success is always under construction.


I'm looking forward to regretting this.


Life is like a pack of chewing-gum; I've yet to figure out why


Sure, there's no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"

SMS: Lifes Realities

Gravity always wins

Eat healthy, exercise more, still die

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.

You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left.

Geniuses like Me are never understood in our own lifetimes.

Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday.

Alcohol releases the inner retard in all of us.

Even hot girls have to fart

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man

Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.

WTF Quotes

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Unite against togetherness!

Reality Sucks! I’m Gonna Keep On Dreamin'.

Life's a Bitch. Be its pimp.

When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!

Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone.

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun

All generalizations are false

'Pessimist' is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is.

A true friend stabs you in the front

The Obnoxious Texter

I'm better than normal, I'm abnormal!

What is arrogance? Thinking you can compete with me!

When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it

Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me

I like to con and insult people, that's why I chose to become a Consultant

I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right

Opinions are like assholes... Everyone's got one, and they stink

Don't like my attitude? Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS.

The Drunk Texter: Ten Of My Favorite Alcohol Related SMS

To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's problems

I'm more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts

I don't curse, drink and smoke. Holy Shit! My cigarette fell in my glass of beer!

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but milk do?

Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question

The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk

If you are drinking to forget, pay in advance

I'm not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings

Save water, drink beer

SMS: Sexy Message Service

Don't judge a man by his boxers, it's what's inside that counts

If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now...

WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! I’ll SiT BaCk AnD i'LL let you BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF Me!

Panties aren't a mans best friend, but they are next to it

3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

Save a mouse, eat a pussy

Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns

Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good

Virginity is like a bubble... One tiny prick and it's gone