Text Messages From The Cubicle Prison

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

Fix the Box Instead of Thinking Outside Of It.

Their theory: 'No work, no pay'. My rule: 'No pay, no work'

Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday...

Write a 'to do' list so you can procrastinate more effectively.

If you don't like your job, you don't quit, you just go in every day and do it really half ass.

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.

Teamwork is what you call it when you trick other people into ignoring their priorities in favor of yours.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must; I do what I am paid to do.