You Can't Buy Love On eBay: Love Quotes

Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. -- Anonymous

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -- Albert Einstein

If I love you, what business is it of yours? -- Johann van Goethe

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it.-- Fran Lebowitz

I've abandoned the search for true love; I'll just settle for a good one night stand. -- Marcuss

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. -- W. Somerset Maugham

Love is a grave mental disease. -- Plato

Love is kissing each other on the lips eventhough its yucky -- a five year old kid

You can't buy love on eBay. -- Anonymous

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one. -- La Rochefoucauld

Having Fun With Condoms Without Putting Them On First.

At a supermarket use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)

At a supermarket get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

Puck up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, got to the counter and ask where the FITTING ROOM is.

Wile buying grocery, fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

Q: What do a shark and a condom with a hole in it have in common? - A: You don’t want to fuck with either of them!

Q: When should you wear condoms? - A: At every conceivable occasion

Q: Why can’t pencils have babies? - A: Because they have rubbers on their end

Q: How can you pick out a paranoid woman? - A: She’s the one with a condom on her vibrator

Pick-Up Lines to use on Accounting Chicks

You've got a lovely pair of W-2's.

Please, baby, let me withhold you.

Nice assets.

Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.

In my office, I.R.S. stands for I'm Really Sexy.

Let's fill out a 1040 - you are a 10 and I'm a 40.

If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?

Technically, having sex with me is like a charitable gift.

You're entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income... now let's do it.

You're the kind of girl I could take home to mother - which is good, since I still live with her.

SMS: Sexy Message Service

Don't judge a man by his boxers, it's what's inside that counts

If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now...

WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! I’ll SiT BaCk AnD i'LL let you BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF Me!

Panties aren't a mans best friend, but they are next to it

3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

Save a mouse, eat a pussy

Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns

Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good

Virginity is like a bubble... One tiny prick and it's gone