Is There A Difference Between An Internal Auditor And An Undertaker?

How do you know you've met a good auditor? - He has a loophole named after him.

You might be an Auditor if... you have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.

Internal Auditors are like soldiers who arrive after a battle and stabs all those who are dying.

An Internal Auditor is someone who is called in at the last moment to assign the blame.

How many Internal Auditors does it take to help you change a light bulb? Three. One to make sure that the bulb is not overpriced and two to write the standards and tell you what you did wrong.

You are an Auditor if... You thought college was a waste of time.

A priest, a rabbi and an auditor were traveling on an airplane. There was a crisis and it was clear that the plane was going to crash and they would all be killed. The priest began to pray and finger his rosary beads, the rabbi began to read the Torah and the auditor began to draft a report on what went wrong, who was to be blamed and recommended on how to improve traffic safety.

Why is it okay to have sex with an auditor? - Because they know how to do it with minimized risk.

An Internal Auditor is a man who knows 99 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women.

When does a person decide to become an Internal Auditor? - When he realizes he does not have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.