Words Of Wisdom I Learned At Work

• Word of wisdom from an Internal Auditor: If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

• As an Internal Auditor, If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile.

• An Internal Auditor recommending system improvements: Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

• On trying a different approach that’s not in the audit checklist: You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

• The job of an Internal Auditor is not that difficult, it’s the people who we deal with who are.

• On dealing with Auditees: Life would be much simpler and things would get done much faster if it weren't for other people.

• A word to our Auditees: It's your right to be stupid, but it doesn't mean you should be.

• To some of our colleagues: When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

• On presenting recommendations: In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

• To those who disagreed with us and lost: There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of your fellow man

• On working papers: Always keep a record of data - it indicates you've been working.

• Finally: To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy.