My Favorite Simpson Quotes

D'oh!
-Homer

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
-Homer

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!
-Homer

Pain was like a drug, but what was more like a drug were the drugs.
-Homer

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?
- Homer

I wanna set the record straight...I thought the cop was a prostitute.
-Homer

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals... fLAMing!!
-Homer

Alcohol is a way of life! Alcohol is my way of life and I plan on keeping it!!
-Homer

Being eaten by a crocodile is like falling asleep...in a giant blender.
-Homer

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
-Homer