Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Smart A$$ Quotes From George Carlin

  1. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? 
  2. When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
  3. If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
  4. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. 
  5. One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. 
  6. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. 
  7. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 
  8. Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
  9. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”? 
  10. Life is a zero sum game.

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